Wednesday 22 September 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘I was in a rush so I’m allowed’ says absolute arsehole parking on double yellows outside school


Parking outstide school

An absolute arsehole parking on double yellow lines right outside a primary school has confirmed today that they are allowed to just park where they want because they were in a bit of a rush.

Simon Williams, who parks on double yellows every day, to avoid walking an extra 20 meters with his child revealed his reasoning earlier after almost hitting a toddler whilst pulling up on the kerb outside his local school.

Speaking earlier he told us “I’m in a rush mate, sorry.

“Look I know that I shouldn’t park here because I am putting children’s lives at risk and making them cross the road behind park cars”

“But I also don’t have the extra fifteen seconds available in the mornings, to park my car safely and stop being a selfish cunt.

“Obviously I could set off a little earlier or maybe even walk faster to stop making the rest of school squeeze around my car because I’ve parked it on the pavement.

“But I just can’t be arsed, because I’m a little bit more important than everyone else, and couldn’t give a shit.

Asked what time he starts work he told us, “I don’t work mate, I’m just going playing golf and can’t be late for my tee time.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: