Wednesday 22 September 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘I was in a rush so I’m allowed’ says absolute arsehole parking on double yellows outside school


Parking outstide school

An absolute arsehole parking on double yellow lines right outside a primary school has confirmed today that they are allowed to just park where they want because they were in a bit of a rush.

Simon Williams, who parks on double yellows every day, to avoid walking an extra 20 meters with his child revealed his reasoning earlier after almost hitting a toddler whilst pulling up on the kerb outside his local school.

Speaking earlier he told us “I’m in a rush mate, sorry.

“Look I know that I shouldn’t park here because I am putting children’s lives at risk and making them cross the road behind park cars”

“But I also don’t have the extra fifteen seconds available in the mornings, to park my car safely and stop being a selfish cunt.

“Obviously I could set off a little earlier or maybe even walk faster to stop making the rest of school squeeze around my car because I’ve parked it on the pavement.

“But I just can’t be arsed, because I’m a little bit more important than everyone else, and couldn’t give a shit.

Asked what time he starts work he told us, “I don’t work mate, I’m just going playing golf and can’t be late for my tee time.”

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