Sunday 19 September 2021 by Lucas Wilde

Traditionally macho, heterosexual image of ballroom dancing destroyed in an instant


strictly dancers not heterosexual

Strictly Come Dancing has tainted the tobacco-chewing, iron-pumping, neat-scotch-drinking world of ballroom dancing.

Strictly Come Dancing 2021 will see The Great British Bake Off alum John Whaite paired up with professional dancer Johannes Radebe.

“Fucking disgrace,” confirmed macho man Simon Williams (no relation to Macho Man Randy Savage).

“Ballroom dancing is for hard men who fuck women. Sequinned shirts, frankly FABULOUS outfits and stunning dance routines simply scream heterosexual to me,” concluded Williams, chewing on his cigar.

“So having two men dance together in this tough world of competitive sequin-wearing just don’t sit right. Judge me all you want to.”

Strictly fan, Hayley Rice, said, “I don’t know which version of Strictly he’s been watching, but Predator it ain’t…

“Ballroom dancing is camp. The suggestion that the introduction of a male, same-sex couple crosses some kind of line is just strange.

“Also men have danced together for a really long time, it’s not new/”

Simon interjected “Morecambe and Wise don’t count, love. They were tap-dancing together, not slow dancing to Ed Sheeran.

“…mind you, they shared a bed, so I wasn’t a fan of them either to be honest.”

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