A delighted Brexit supporter is today demanding his milk in units not understood by anyone under the age of 50.
Derek Williams, 72, said he was overjoyed to finally be able to go to the shops and use numbers he understood.
He told us, “I had hoped Brexit would bring us to the forefront of the global economy, and see us soar upwards as we’re no longer held back by the restrictive shackles of the EU. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t also quite nice to be able to gloat at confused minimum wage workers in the local supermarket.”
However, Williams was left quite angry at the apparent lack of comprehension from supermarket staff despite his repeated requests for 20 ounces of milk.
He explained, “It’s a fluid ounce – EVERYONE uses fluid ounces. It’s very simple – a pint is 20 fluid ounces. Well, unless you’re in the only other major economy that uses Imperial measurements – America – where a pint is actually 16 fluid ounces, but that doesn’t count anyway because their fluid ounce is actually different to ours, it’s about 1/20th smaller.
“When I’ve finished here I’m going to the garage to demand ten gallons of petrol, and I want all the lead put back in, too.
“What do you mean a UK gallon is different to a US gallon? The US 20% bigger? What’s that, like, 1/4th bigger in proper numbers? Why is it different when it has the same name?
“Anyway, the point I was making is that this is what we voted for and it’s MILES better.
“Yes it is, shut up.”