Thursday 16 September 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘Plan B? We haven’t got a f*cking clue what plan A is’ confirms government


Boris plan B

The government has revealed today that they may have to move immediately to their so-called ‘Plan B’ to deal with the pandemic this winter, because they haven’t got a fucking clue what plan A is, to be honest.

With infections still dangerously high as the country approaches the colder winter months, senior government officials have admitted today that triggering plan B is likely to be absolutely necessary across the UK, due to not having a clue what plan A actually is.

A spokesperson for the government told us, “What’s plan A? Seriously, has this been rolled out?

“I know that we have been discussing all this plan B stuff for a while now in the offices at Number 10 but nobody has told me what plan A is, and I feel a bit daft asking now, in case I wasn’t listening.

“I’m sure it’s pretty good, and should keep people safe, and no doubt it has been thought through in great detail like everything else we have done, but I genuinely have no idea what it is, and I don’t think anyone else does either.

“I just feel stupid now, because it’s a bit too late to ask, so I’ll just have to go along with it like everyone else and wait until we move to plan B, which I think will have to be soon, because we don’t understand plan A.”

Asked if he could perhaps speak to the Prime Minister and clarify what plan A is he told us “It’s ok, just had a text, yes plan A is just do fuck all and see what happens.”

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