Thursday 16 September 2021 by Lucas Wilde

70% of UK office workers wish to continue working from home because DUH


Office worker

Seven out of ten UK office workers wish to continue working from home because OBVIOUSLY, according to reports this morning.

The unastonishing results were revealed early this morning to somehow-still-flabberghasted business leaders.

“Well I must say I’m shocked,” said Simon Williams, CEO of Bastards Inc.

“Our employees want to stay home to achieve the same work results rather than getting up two hours earlier, sitting in traffic, paying for parking and sitting in an uncomfortable chair all day?

“People just don’t want to WORK these days.”

Office worker, Jay Cooper, said, “I do want to work, I’ve just become rather accustomed to doing it without any trousers on.

“Honestly, the idea of having to get up, get DRESSED, do ANYTHING with my hair and then get on the tube just fills me with dread at this point.

“My house is comfortable, the office is not. Travelling to the office costs money. Travelling to the living room does not. I could go on.

“I have a computer and WiFi. It’s 2021. There is literally nothing I could achieve in an office that I can’t achieve in my house, except for a growing resentment of the fact I am in the office.

“Until the office allows me to have a bath in the middle of the day, I’m staying put.”

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