Tuesday 14 September 2021 by Lucas Wilde

Timmy Mallett accidentally stumbles into Met Gala and immediately wins ‘Best Outfit’


Timmy Mallett at the Met Gala

Timmy Mallett is the new king of fashion.

The former children’s TV presenter and walking Magic Eye stumbled into the Met Gala fashion event after being caught short on the streets of New York.

“I’m sorry to be a pain but is there a loo I could just-” enquired the human eyesore.

“OH. MY GOD.” gushed fashion designer, Simon Le Williams.

“LOOK at you! The bold neon, the deliberately clashing colours! This reeks of subversion of the typical. This… this is so modern, it’s so BRAVE!”

“…sorry what are-” sputtered Mallett.

“DARLINGS! COME AND LOOK AT THIS VISION!” bellowed Simon, at which point twelve different people all rushed around Williams and Mallett, cooing and taking pictures of the befuddled British telly legend.

“Look this is all very nice of you… no I don’t know who made my clothes… I think they’re off the internet… thank you… no I’m not signed to an agency… Yes, OK, I’ll call you… look can I just find a loo? What? No I don’t need any coke I just need a shit… excuse me…”

Simon Le Williams commented, “That was ASTONISHING.

“I don’t think he even knows that he just started a fashion revolution… he was so humble about the whole thing too, is that an act? I don’t know, either way, LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM.”

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