Rapper Nicki Minaj stunned at last night’s Met Gala after appearing in a dress composed mainly of two large and swollen testicles.
Insisting the dress was a social commentary on compulsory vaccinations, Minaj was unable to clearly articulate why swollen testicles – a side effect not associated with any vaccine – should provide any commentary on the matter.
She told reporters on the red carpet, “Swollen testicles is something everyone needs to think about, I’m not saying you should take the vaccine, or that you shouldn’t – make up your own mind. But when you do, please consider that swollen testicles are a thing, and they can cause weddings to get cancelled. They are very real.
“No, not these ones, these are synthetic, I’m not an animal.”
However, medical professionals have been quick to point out that although swollen testicles can indeed occur amongst some men, the causes are actually quite well understood.
Dr Chuck Williams told us “Yes, sometimes testicles become swollen.
“However, it’s likely a bacterial infection or an STD like chlamydia and gonorrhoea. But any man who presents with such symptoms should definitely get it checked out by a medical professional.
“And if you happen to have a wedding coming up, then it might be a good time to have an awkward conversation with your future wife about your sexual history – unless of course you can find a convenient excuse that you think she might fall for, and if has some highly gullible relatives who will spread that excuse for you?”
“But seriously, see a doctor, and get vaccinated.”