Monday 13 September 2021 by Neil Tollfree

IT Department confirm that you are not allowed to access porn in the office


can't watch porn in the office

In what might prove to be the most difficult aspect of the transition from home-working to going back to the office, the IT department have confirmed that you will not be allowed to access porn at your desk.

“Well, I got into work this morning, it was the first time back,” explained colleague Simon Williams.

“I just got on with my normal morning routine, cup of coffee, bowl of brain flakes, fire up YouPorn on a background tab, check my email.

“I came back to YouPorn to have 5 minutes watching some hot, amateur girl-on-girl action and it was just saying that access to this site has been blocked.”

Mr Williams shook his head in disbelief.

“I thought it must be a mistake, I mean, how are you meant to get through a day without watching scenes of lesbian bondage or Japanese gangbangs.

“I emailed IT, and said there was a problem, and they replied saying that you aren’t allowed to access porn in the office. Not even some fairly soft solo milfs.

“I don’t know man. I’m not sure how they expect us to work normally under these conditions?”

In a separate email, HR has confirmed that it is not acceptable to drink wine at your desk at 11am, wearing trousers or a skirt is considered mandatory, and under no circumstance should come to work in just your pants, an old Libertines T-shirt and bunny slippers.

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