Prince Andrew successfully served by US lawyers after papers disguised as Pizza Express menu

author avatar by 1 year ago

The Duke of York has been served with legal papers mocked up to look like a Pizza Express menu.

The legal team representing the woman accusing Prince Andrew of sexual abuse say they have successfully served him with legal papers after disguising them as his favourite restaurant menu.

“It’s my job to find clever ways of getting people to accept papers relating to a legal action,” said Process Server Simon Williams.

“What better way to get the attention of Prince Andrew than to make him think he can get his hands on a skinny hot American – sorry, I mean an American Hot with a classic thin base.

“I rocked up to the gate of Windsor’s Royal Lodge on my moped and asked for Andrew. Security nearly sent me packing but then I waved the papers – printed on tall, thin card with the Pizza Express logo on the front – at a nearby CCTV camera.

“The Duke immediately came running down the driveway, panting and, weirdly, sweating.

“‘Gimme, gimme gimme!’ he said, his overeager hand reaching out to me.

“I gave him the menu and shouted, ‘You’ve been served!’

“‘But I haven’t even ordered yet,’ said Andrew, bemused.

“I explained – at great length and with the help of several drawings – that they were in fact legal papers and that his accuser would see him in court.

“He seemed to finally understand but then as I left he shouted after me, ‘Oh and extra olives!’

“I guess we’ll see if he turns up…”

Prince Andrew said he couldn’t possibly have been served legal papers.

“I spent the evening at home alone,” he said. “I spoke to nobody apart from when I ordered a pizza.

“Although come to think of it, that never turned up…”