Wednesday 8 September 2021 by Chris Ballard

‘And now you’re going to fund my social care!’ cackles retired landlord


rich retired landlord

A sixty-five-year-old retired landlord has taken great pleasure in pointing out to his twenty-five-year-old tenant that, in addition to his exorbitant rent, they will also now be paying for his social care.

Simon Williams retired early. He was able to do so after making the savvy decision to be born in the early 1950s so he could buy up property for next to nothing and then rent it out to millennials who can’t afford to do the same.

“I love it when a plan comes together!” he said.

“I worked hard being born in the right place at the right time and I must admit a certain feeling of schadenfreude when considering the stupid young people who chose to take a different path by being born in the and 90s and beyond.

“Not only do graduates have to pay me a grand a month to sleep on a shelf (‘mezzanine floor’ on the advert, but let’s not kid ourselves) and use a bathroom so small that the toilet is actually in the shower cubicle (‘perfect for the time-pressured professional!’) – they’ll now have to hand over even more of their salary to pay for the social care I’ll require as I get older.

“Don’t like it? Then move out and buy your own place. Oh you can’t, can you? Hahaha!

“Now cluck like a chicken or I’ll increase your rent even more. Go on! If not, there are plenty of other twenty-somethings willing to do animal impressions for a roof over their head…”

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