Tories reluctant to lose National Insurance no claims bonus to pay for social care

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Many Conservative MPs don’t want to use National Insurance contributions to pay for social care because they’ll lose their absolutely massive no claims bonus.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson is planning to raise National Insurance rates in order to solve Britain’s social care crisis.

“This is madness!” said Tory backbencher Simon Williams.

“Why on earth should we claim on our National Insurance to spend money on old people who are going to die soon anyway, and on young disabled people who don’t contribute anything to the economy?

“The austerity narrative pedalled by the loony left never mentions the fantastic no claims bonus we’ve built up over the last decade by not spending that money. Why throw that away just to help the weak and helpless?

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“If we really have to help these parasites – and I’m not sure we do – then can’t we just clap for them once a week? That sorted out the NHS, didn’t it? And best of all, it was completely free!

“What next? Adequate mental health services for people who just need to jolly well pull themselves together?

“Spending valuable Treasury funds ensuring young disabled people have a social life?

“No, no, no – if we forked out for every little care ‘need’ then we’d never build up a decent no claims bonus.

“What’s that? Lower earners will be disproportionately impacted by a hike in National Insurance?

“Well, why didn’t you say so?! Yes, let the proles and the leeches sort it out among themselves.

“It’s only fair!”

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