Supermarkets run out of shelves

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Supply chain problems within the fixtures and fittings industry mean that many UK supermarkets have now run out of shelves.

As a combination of Brexit and Covid (but mainly Brexit) adversely impacts supply chains within the UK, supermarkets are having to deal with a problem even worse than having empty shelves.

“Yeah, I suppose it’s quite ironic,” said manager of the Neath branch of Tesco, Simon Williams. “We do have some stock in store – some sponge scourers, a few packets of Fry’s Turkish Delight and a single bottle of sparkling water – but nowhere to actually display it.

“My store is now just an empty warehouse. Customers come in and wander around without direction, as lost, sad and clueless as Michael Gove in a nightclub.

“Some kids have actually started using the shop as a roller skating rink.

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“I did try getting my staff to line up in rows and hold up tins of beans or whatever, but they started to complain that their arms were aching. And then health and safety got involved…

“So now if someone spills something, we can’t say ‘Clean up in aisle 5’ because there aren’t any aisles. We have to say ‘Clean up next to that fat, bald man in a red t-shirt’ and hope he doesn’t move.

“The echo is the worst. With no shelves to block the sound just one beep from the checkout will reverberate for minutes. Makes you glad we don’t actually have much to sell!

“Oh well, I suppose we can always do a Lidl – just pile all the products in the middle of the shop and let the customers have at it.”