Friday 3 September 2021 by Davywavy

Red pill actually just horse dewormer, admits Morpheus


morpheus horse dewormer

The Red Pill –  which Morpheus claimed would open Thomas ‘Neo’ Anderson’s eyes to the real world –  is just a generic horse dewormer that he bought off the internet, the black-clad guru admitted today.

Morpheus attached an almost mystically powerful relevance to the drug, which he told Neo that taking would be a genuinely eye-opening experience – a claim which was true as far as it went, just not in the way everyone thought.

Since Neo took the pill many thousands of others also claim to have taken it, which they believed would help them overcome their manifold personal shortcomings after seeing someone talking about it on Twitter.

“When I said you’ll see how deep the rabbit hole goes I was basically referring to your butt,” Morpheus told us.

“You’d be amazed how much stuff is up there when it really decides to go for it, and believe me if you take the red pill it’ll really decide to go for it.

“I know I attach great mystical significance to the Red Pill, but you can get them for basically ten bucks for a hundred from any friendly veterinarians.”

However, many commentators have disputed Morpheus’ claim, saying that the red pill cannot be dewormer as pretty much everyone who claims to have taken it is still completely full of shit.

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