Friday 3 September 2021 by Mark Molloy

Man shrinks his feet as shop assistant helpfully offers size eight as they have no elevens in stock


man buying shoes

A man has shrunk his feet today after a helpful shop assistant at his local shoe store helpfully offered a size eight shoe due to unfortunately having no size elevens left in stock.

Simon Williams, who is a size eleven shoe, decided to shrink his feet earlier after asking for the shoes in his size, only to be told by the assistant that he’s afraid that they don’t have his size, but they do in fact have them in an eight.

Speaking earlier he told us, “Yeah, I’ve just shrunk my feet. Simple.

“I went to the shop earlier and asked if they had these shoes in a size eleven, and the assistant returned shortly afterwards and said unfortunately not, but went on to helpfully inform me that they do have them in an eight.

“Obviously I asked to try them on, because he was standing there so hopeful, but they didn’t actually fit, because, you know, they were three sizes too small.

“So I ended up just deciding to shrink my feet, to enable them to fit, and help the assistant out, because he seemed like a really nice guy, and I really liked the shoes.”

Asked if it was that simple, to just shrink your feet so they fit whatever size the assistant said they had, we were told “No you fucking idiot. And he should have fucking known that too.”

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