Man who doesn’t trust vaccines currently swallowing handfuls of horse dewormer he ordered off the Internet

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Reports are emerging of a Covid-denying vaccine sceptic who is swallowing handfuls of horse dewormer that he ordered on the Internet to ward off a disease he doesn’t even think is that serious.

Simon Williams, a 42-year-old cotton-bud packer and holder of a single GCSE, insists that his consumption of Ivermectin will protect him from any and all problems associated with Covid, if they even exist at all.

He told us, “Yes, I take Ivermectin, in the very specific form developed for horses because that’s all I could get on the Internet – but it’s basically the same thing.

“I take it because I think it’s important we all treat the claims of the government with a healthy dose of scepticism, whether that claim is ‘Covid is potentially deadly and we should take steps to protect ourselves’ or whether they’re trying to tell us ‘don’t take horse dewormer as it doesn’t work and could make you seriously ill’.  They’re almost certainly lying about both claims.

“I probably wouldn’t have even considered Ivermectin as a treatment until they told me specifically it doesn’t work.

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“I don’t care what they say about Ivermectin as a treatment for Covid, I’ve had no side effects whatsoever, except for the explosive diarrhoea that seems to strike without any notice at random points throughout the day.

“But if loudly and uncontrollably shitting myself in the pasta aisle of Tesco is the price I have to pay to defy a tyrannical government, then so be it.”

A colleague of Williams told us that they hoped he would take more time off work, particularly as some joker on Twitter had recently convinced him that the cure for explosive diarrhoea is to take even more Ivermectin.