Saturday 14 August 2021 by Chris Ballard

War on Terror wakes up in shower


War on Terror wakes up in the shower

Fans of the long-running soap opera ‘International Affairs’ are divided about the latest shocking plot twist in which the last twenty years of the War on Terror were revealed to be a dream.

‘International Affairs’ has long been one of the most popular soaps on television. For the last twenty years, the War on Terror character has been thrilling audiences with his quest to eradicate a global network of terrorists and the governments that support them.

But a recent episode stunned viewers by revealing that the lengthy coalition campaign in Afghanistan was nothing more than a shower-based dream.

“I can’t believe that all my emotional investment in the War on Terror has been for nothing,” said disgusted International Affairs fan Simon Williams.

“I cheered when the coalition successfully drove the Taliban from power in order to deny al-Qaeda a safe base of operations in Afghanistan.

“I cried at the thousands of coalition soldiers killed in action; wept at the tens of thousands of dead civilians.

“You’re telling me that none of those deaths meant anything? The country’s improvements in health, education and women’s rights all get wiped out overnight?

“Yes, the War on Terror’s plotline had reached the stage where it didn’t seem to be going anywhere – the Taliban had been ousted, a fierce insurgency was engaged in asymmetric warfare… there’s only so far you can spin that out before coming up with an ending.

“But to use the ‘it was all a dream’ trope? ‘Oh sorry, the last two decades didn’t really happen and the Taliban are suddenly back in power.’ Ridiculous!

“The stated objectives of US-led military interventions have now lost all believability. I’m not sure I want to watch the show anymore.

“And anyway, who the hell sleeps in the shower?!

“I just hope the International Affairs writing team finds a better way to resolve that storyline about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.”

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