Friday 13 August 2021 by Arabin Patson

Young boy apologises to albino hippopotamus after saying it reminded him of Eamonn Holmes


young boy apologises to Rhino

A young boy has been left mortified by his own gaffe after an encounter at London Zoo with a rare pink hippopotamus led him to quip that its flatulence and rotund appearance reminded him of a presenter on ITV’s flagship breakfast programme.

After his morning nap, the boy in question, young Jake Williams, said that he immediately understood his mistake and was truly disgusted with himself

He went on, “This morning, an innocent attempt at having fun resulted in me comparing a noble creature that already has shit on its plate to a dumb floundering mess that is kept on the airwaves solely to show lonely pensioners that things could always be worse.

“Because I’m already seven years old I know full well that comparing people to animals is a stupid thing to do and has a huge potential to be really hurtful, but I think we should extend the same courtesy to all creatures.

“I’m really sorry for my actions and apologise unreservedly. The only thing I can say to mitigate it is that I’m absolutely positive I won’t do it again. You’d have to be a complete div to do that.”

Although his apology is sincere, Jake’s parents have confirmed that, as they are responsible adults, he will not be taken to the zoo again because actions must have consequences if you ever want people to progress.

Eamonn Holmes has frequently been used in the past as a comparison to ridicule or diminish several useful entities such as the head of spit roast pig, a fatberg, a builder’s arse, a desiccated apricot and a Mr Matey bottle after a fire.

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