Millions of homes to be demolished to encourage home workers back into office

author avatar by 1 year ago

Rishi Sunak has announced a bold plan to raze a third of Britain’ homes to the ground, forcing workers currently working from home back into the office workplace seeking food and shelter.

The move comes after city-landlords and Tory donors expressed concerns that people being productive at home isn’t making them any money.

Rishi said, “I think it’s clear some of these home workers are taking the piss and are doing far less than they are paid for.

“Now, that’s fine if you are rich or a Tory MP, but completely appalling if you are a call centre customer service worker for Sky.

“I think it’s completely unreasonable to expect to progress in the workplace if you are sat at home in pyjamas having a wank at nine in the morning, unless you are the Prime Minister or one of the many gormless private school twats he employs to give him terrible advice.

“Our economy is built on twenty-somethings buying a Tesco meal deals and crying into it while catching whatever cold is circulating that week. Drastic action is called for.”

Office worker Simon Williams, whose one bed flat was demolished this morning, said, “It is a bit shit, but I’m lucky I have an office to live in now. And I voted Tory, so I’m glad to see those other slackers get what’s coming to them.”