US and Britain delighted that all that Taliban malarky got sorted before they left Afghanistan

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The United States and Britain have today declared that they are happy that all that Taliban stuff got sorted out in Afghanistan before they packed up and left.

With nothing but news of peace and harmony emerging from the region since the withdrawal of British and US troops, leaders of both nations have today revealed both pride and relief that everything was sorted before they decided to leave and come home.

A Spokesperson for Nato confirmed, “Yes, good job we sorted all that out before pissing off home, because it was a right mess.

“All those nasty Taliban taking over the country, overthrowing the regional governments and persecuting the Afghan people. We certainly put a stop to that, didn’t we.

“It was a bloody dangerous place before we arrived I can tell you, and also a haven for international terrorist organisations if you can believe that – which you wouldn’t if you took a cursory glance at it today.

“But thankfully we went over there for a quick twenty years – that absolutely flew by, right? And I must add was totally worth it, because we sorted everything out and now it’s all fine so we were able to leave.

“Obviously there may be one or two tiny tiny pockets of Taliban fighters left, in tiny little areas of the country, but they won’t cause any bother so it’s fine. The country is in great shape, and all that remains for me to say is – you’re welcome.”

Asked if he has watched the news lately he told us, “Not really. Is it all about GCSE results?”