Thursday 12 August 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘Just pick up my shit and stop throwing sticks’ pleads dog


Dog shit owner

A dog has revealed today he is sick of running after balls and sticks and would prefer it if you would just pick up his shit and go home, thanks.

Rover Williams, a 56-year-old (in dog years) mongrel from Plymouth, who has been running after sticks for 56 years revealed he’d had enough earlier today, after watching his owner searching for a stick just after he’d curled out a shit.

Speaking earlier he told us, “For God Sake, it’s just boring now.

“I only wanted to pop out for a quick poo, and obviously seven wees, and now he starts pissing about throwing things again.

“Look, I don’t mind going for a walk, as long as it’s not raining, as it gets me out of the house for a bit.

“And it’s nice to see a few other dogs too and have a sniff of their arses and possibly try for some action.

“But all this chasing after sticks shite is for puppies – I’m 56 years old man, and I just can’t be arsed.

“The only reason I chase after the thing is to keep my owner happy so he thinks that he’s playing a game. He’s about 350 in dog years, bless him, so I’m happy to go for a walk whenever he feels like.

“But quite frankly, most of the time I wish he’d just pick up my shit for me, put it in a bag and we can all just fuck off back home and chill out in front of the TV.”

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