Tuesday 10 August 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Prince Andrew unable to appear at sex abuse case because he has reservation at Pizza Express, Woking


Prince Andrew

A spokesperson for Prince Andrew has confirmed that the Prince will be unable to appear at a forthcoming civil lawsuit against him for sexual abuse as he has a reservation that day at the Pizza Express in Woking.

The case has been brought against the Prince by Virginia Giuffre, who claims he sexually assaulted her in New York and London.

“Prince Andrew regrets that he will be unable to attend the court to give evidence as he has already got a reservation at the Pizza Express in Woking, and they’ve got a special two-for-one deal on those little garlic doughballs that he likes,” said the official statement from Prince Andrew’s spokesperson.

When lawyers stressed that the case was likely to last several months and that it would be a simple matter to accommodate the Prince at his convenience, his representatives responded that he really, really likes those doughballs and, therefore, is unlikely to be able to find any time at all to appear at the case.

When asked to comment on accusations that his consistent refusal to formally engage in any of the investigations into Jeffrey Epstein was making it much more difficult for victims to find justice, his office said that he was currently unavailable to respond as he was having lunch at the Pizza Express in Woking.

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