Tuesday 10 August 2021 by Davywavy

Geronimo the alpaca found hanged in his own cell


Geronimo the black alpaca

Geronimo the alpaca, who has been the subject of an online campaign to save him from death, has been found hanging in his cell in an apparent suicide in his cell overnight according to reports today.

Medical staff declared Geronimo dead at the scene when he was found with injuries to his neck at 10:07 this morning, although questions have been asked as security personnel were unusually absent, the cameras in the wing where he was being held were switched off, and Alpacas don’t have hands with which he could have tied a noose in the first place.

Geronimo repeatedly tested positive for Bovine Tuberculosis and experts insisted he must be put down to protect others, and despite a vociferous public outcry, he was moved to a secure facility to await a final decision in his case where the tragedy occurred.

“Alpacas are prone to depression – especially in captivity – and it appears Geronimo made a noose from blankets and took his own life in the early hours of this morning whilst security footage was turned off for absolutely normal routine maintenance,” said chief government veterinarian Simon Williams.

“Sadly guards assigned to keep him under 24-hour suicide watch had also taken a bit of time off, meaning there was no way to prevent this terribly sad event happening.

“Rumours that Geronimo was a close friend of Prince Andrew and the two had been photographed together several times are complete fabrications,” he added.

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