Monday 9 August 2021 by Mark Molloy

Bag packing at Aldi to be included in next Olympics


Aldi Olympic event

Bag packing at Aldi supermarkets is to be included in the next Olympics it has been revealed.

‘Speed Packing’, as it is likely to be known, will become an Olympic event due to the sheer skill, speed and stamina required to try to pack your shopping whilst items are launched towards you at high speed by an Aldi checkout girl.

Announcing the news, an Olympic spokesperson told us “Yes, it’s going to be an event, and a really tough one at that.

“Everyone knows that trying to actually pack away your shopping into bags at Aldi is nigh on impossible, given the speed it is thrown at you.

“And trying to keep up for more than one bag, including tins and bottles is nothing short of dangerous.

“That’s why we have decided to harness this excitement and make it an Olympic event, with appropriate safety measures in place.

“So come the next Olympics, we will be treated to a thrilling exhibition of male and female speed packing with a host of Olympic shoppers at the very top of their game.”

Current British hopeful, Sharon Williams from Oldham, revealed she is already in training, telling us, “Did a big shop this morning. Managed to get two and a half bags filled before I was hit in the face by a tin of spam.

“I’ve got to be happy with that.”

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