Friday 6 August 2021 by Davywavy

Fifth Chaos god is the god of copyright enforcement, confirms Games Workshop


Games Workshop

The fifth and most powerful Chaos God is Lawya, the god of aggressive trademark litigation, Games Workshop has confirmed.

Lawya emerged from the warp after the race of Youtubers indulged themselves that little bit too much and caused him to awake and devour their content, leaving their souls drifting eternally alone.

Fans are already speculating that the two ‘missing’ space marine legions vanished after falling foul of Lawya due to wearing colours that were a little bit similar to another established product line.

“Lawya sits on a gigantic throne made of money, and eternally demands more from his followers,” said Warhammer development manager Simon Williams.

“Every time someone uses a word he thinks is his then some more money appears, and if that’s not working well enough, he makes up some words and threatens to behead anyone who uses them without his permission.

“Daemons of Lawya spill forth from the Aie of Terrorer – which are words we made up so we can sue anyone who uses them – and blast servants of the Imperium with their terrible cease and desist cannons, whilst his companion is Tsales, the god of small change.”

“Are you writing this down? ” he added. “You’ll be hearing from our lawyers.”

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