Tuesday 3 August 2021 by Pete Redfern

Just thump Covid in the face and get on with your life, suggests Jeremy Clarkson


Jeremy Clarkson to punch covid in the face

Former Top Gear presenter and slab of talking meat Jeremy Clarkson has today suggested that we stop living in fear and that people take matters into their own hands to show the coronavirus what they think of it.

In an interview with the Radio Times to promote the latest televised outing of The Grand Boor, Mr Clarkson stunned no one at all by offering his own take on firmly handling the pandemic.

“It’s time to just live our lives and if we die, then we die,” he shrugged, glugging an entire bottle of wine and taking a drag from his cigarette.

“This thing could go on for years and years until we’re all thoroughly fed up of it, which as a former Top Gear presenter, is something I know a thing or two about.”

He went on, “Sure, have the vaccine if you like, but I tend to prefer my own scientific approach; namely punching that thing in the face if it threatens to inconvenience my life in any way, however slight.”

Unsurprisingly, Richard Hammond agreed with him, giggling like a schoolgirl and chipping in, “Teehee, I’m not scared of a little virus either, and I trust Jeremy’s judgment on this matter.

“Just like in 2006 when he convinced me to drive that car that was basically a giant rocket on wheels as fast as I could.

“Nothing bad happened then, did it?”

He paused for a second, a look of confusion spreading across his face.

“Actually, I can’t remember – did it?”

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