Friday 30 July 2021 by Chris Ballard

Once every four years just the right amount of gymnastics, agree television viewers


Gymnastics on TV

People watching the Olympic gymnastics have agreed that while they’ve enjoyed all the clever jumping and stuff, they don’t really want to watch any more of it for several years.

How much gymnastics is too much gymnastics? More than a few days every four years, according to people who watch television.

“What I like about the Olympics is the variety and novelty of the events on offer,” said Olympic viewer Simon Williams.

“Gymnastics, for example. When I haven’t seen any for four years I really enjoy the spectacle of all that spinning and leaping and falling off – particularly the falling off.

“But by the end of the third day, I find myself thinking, ‘Is this actually a sport? Shouldn’t there be a ball or a race or something?’

“And then you realise how young the competitors are and that you’re basically watching kids playing with bits of apparatus – like a more civilised soft play, although I imagine they have better coffee.

“And you start to feel like a failure because these sixteen-year-olds have already achieved more than you ever will.

“But then you console yourself with the thought that their lives have already peaked and their super-specialist techniques have probably required so much practice that they have literally no other life skills. Can they even use a knife and fork? Could they name all the James Bond films in order?

“And is the horse called a horse because in the olden days people used to swing about like that on an actual horse? Because I really can’t imagine a horse putting up with that shit.

“Anyway, this is the point when I realise I’ve watched my fill of gymnastics.

“I’m slightly worried because the Paris Olympics is only three years away – even without watching any more gymnastics between now and summer 2024, I’m pretty sure I’ll still be utterly bored of it.”

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