Anything other than shouting angrily about flags now considered ‘dangerously woke’

author avatar by 3 years ago

With the exception of shouting angrily about flags, literally everything a person can do or say should be considered ‘dangerously woke’ and therefore is not to be encouraged or trusted.

Leading alt-right gobshite scientists recently conducted extensive research into wokery, and after twenty minutes they concluded conclusively that everyone should simply stick to shouting angrily about flags.

“It’s a perilous situation for Great Britain right now,” said Simon Williams, a professor at the University of Life.

“There are people saving other people from drowning, being good at sport, preserving sites of historic interest, and all sorts of other dangerously woke activities.

“This level of wokeism is unprecedented and, if we’re not careful, Great Britain could become full of people being nice and kind to each other.”

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Professor Williams has concluded that there is only one thing we can do to avoid such a disastrous and anti-British outcome.

“Shout angrily about flags,” he said.

“It’s the silent majority’s only hope. Just open the window and shout about how there should be more flags, or that flags aren’t big enough. If you see a person without a flag, go and shout at them until they get a flag.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re being coherent or not, shouting about flags doesn’t need to be coherent, it just needs to be quite loud. So, for Britain’s sake, shout about flags. Loudly.”

It is expected that, following the research, GB News, Nigel Farage, Laurence Fox, and little Darren Grimes will step up their efforts to shout angrily about flags as part of their ongoing battle to keep Britain unpleasant.