Thursday 22 July 2021 by Mark Molloy

Man uses news that there is ‘no need to panic buy’ as his cue to begin frantically panic buying


panic buying trolley

A man has begun frantically panic buying this morning after being told that there is absolutely no need to begin panic buying.

Simon Williams, who had no intention of panic buying anything, until he saw on the news that there is no need to start panic buying, began frantically filling his trolley at Iceland first thing this morning with as much food as he could possibly carry.

Speaking earlier whilst loading up his boot after a second trip to the store he told us, “What are you standing there for? Save yourselves!

“I got up this morning and switched on the news while I went to make a cup of tea, and the owner of Iceland was on there saying that we don’t need to panic buy, everything is fine.

“I was down there with my car within 10 minutes grabbing as much stuff as I could before anyone else managed to get it.

“It’s every man for themselves I tell you, we could be stuck inside for years, and all the suppliers have Covid from this new thing called a ‘pingdemic’ so there won’t be any food. It’s going to be carnage man!

“I managed to get almost all the pasta after pushing an old lady to the ground, and as much food as I could carry, as well as 9 packs of toilet roll, obviously.”

Asked if he has room to store two shopping trollies full of frozen food in his flat at home he told us “No, I’ll need to throw most of that away to be fair.”

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