Wednesday 21 July 2021 by Mark Molloy

Liverpool stripped of The Beatles


Liverpool stripped of The Beatles

Liverpool has dramatically been stripped of The Beatles it has been revealed today, along with Cilla Black.

With news emerging earlier today that the city has lost its World Heritage Status following a decision made by the Unesco committee, further crushing news emerged shortly after confirming that Liverpool can no longer lay claim to The Beatles, with Cilla Black and the La’s also in doubt.

Explaining the decision earlier, a spokesperson for Unesco confirmed, “Yes, they can’t have The Beatles either I’m afraid, fuck ’em.

“I mean were The Beatles actually from Liverpool anyway? Really? Where is the actual evidence of this? They could have just put on those accents as part of an elaborate hoax.

“And everyone knows that all the good music comes from Manchester anyway, so it’s much more likely that they came from down the road and just pretended they were scousers for a laugh.

“I mean let’s face it, it was quite a long time ago now anyway, so nobody can actually check to see where they came from for sure.

“So we’ll just remove this from their history, along with their heritage status for daring to develop the waterfront and not letting it go to shit.”

Asked if they could not just perhaps ask Paul McCartney where The Beatles were originally formed, we were told “Yeah right, like that’s the real Paul McCartney. Good one.”

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