Wednesday 21 July 2021 by Arabin Patson

International Handball Federation fines Norwegian Women’s team for refusing to call IHF officials ‘Daddy’


Norwegian volleyball team

Controversy has arisen in the staid world of Handball after the IHC fined the Norwegian Women’s team 1500 euros for wanting to wear shorts, refusing to wash cars in white T-shirts, and for making a big fuss about cameras in the shower.

International Handball Federation spokesman, Slaimi Nonce (pronounced Nonchay), denied the fine was a retrograde sexist move by creepy old pervs and was simply an attempt to bring more glamour to the sport.

“People watch the male teams because they want to see the very best performance in a sport they like, so obviously the boys can wear what they want. But for the female games, we wanted to make sure the public, like us, got something they could watch while pretending they are sorting change in their pockets.

“We appreciate the Norwegian players wanting to just focus on winning matches but we need them to play their part, whether it’s wearing certain clothes or sitting on the laps of IHC committee members three times their age while enjoying a lolipop.”

Mr Nonce said it was important for the public to realise there was nothing sexist about the fine.

He went on, “We really regret the fuss about this and don’t want the press to think that just because we are comfortable putting horrifically creepy vibes out into the public domain, it might be worth investigating how we treat female interns behind closed doors.”

The incident caused Norway’s team to garner much support on social media and from institutions.

The Norwegian Handball Federation said it would pay any fines levied on athletes and Oslo Police have provided each player with riot strength pepper spray in case IHF officials ‘accidentally’ walk into the wrong changing rooms.

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