Tuesday 20 July 2021 by Davywavy

Council mows the verges so everyone can see the litter


litter on the grass verge

A local council has swept away a roadside stand of wild flowers and seeding grass to improve drivers views of the litter, it has emerged.

The council, which actually paid people to do this whilst complaining about how badly funded they are, realised that a small environment that helped support local bee and insect populations could be improved by cutting it all down and revealing a bunch of empty KFC boxes and plastic bottles half-full of what looks like Lucozade Sport.

“The local community can sleep easy in their beds knowing that we are devoted to ensuring their view of discarded Whopper wrappers and lager cans is unimpeded by vegetation,” said council Green Spaces Manager Simon Williams.

“The flowers and grasses are only here for a few short months every year and we are dedicated to making that period even shorter, guaranteeing a year-round view of what motorists have casually lobbed out of their window as they drive along.”

Drivers have praised the council for their diligence, with one telling us how much easier it is to explain to his children the natural cycle of going to the takeaway, eating at the wheel, and then dumping the detritus by the side of the road.

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