Sunday 18 July 2021 by Lucas Wilde

Nigel Farage hopes to push GB News viewing figures above that of an average Zoom call


Nigel Farage joins GB News

Nigel Farage will be joining GB News in a move widely described as “what’s GB news?”

The frog-faced moron-herder announced he would be joining the channel with a new show, disappointingly called “Farage” where we were hoping for “The Reich Stuff”.

“We could be looking at viewers in the dozens,” beamed GB news spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“We’re taking a slight risk in going up against both Emmerdale and the time in which most people grudgingly make Zoom calls to their parents, but we’re confident we can outdraw the latter, at least for the first week.

“Nigel Farage is everything we’re looking for at GB News: loud, and white.”

Farage commented, “I’m delighted by this new opportunity to make some money.

“Trust me when I say, I will hold NOTHING back, and not just because nobody will be watching.

“You’re getting pure, unadulterated Farage.”

Williams commented, “Yes, that should beat out Police Interceptors repeats on Paramount… I hope.”

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