Friday 16 July 2021 by Mark Molloy

UK braced for glorious weather, just as everyone in the entire country is told to isolate


unhappy family

UK temperatures are set to soar this weekend with several days of glorious weather ahead, just as everyone in the country has been told to isolate following a ping on their NHS app or having had children sent home from school.

With literally everybody who hasn’t yet deleted the NHS app on their phone now told to isolate, along with approximately 97% of schoolchildren sent home in their last week of term, millions of people around the country will be looking forward to doing completely fuck all this weekend, just as the weather turns gorgeous again.

Father of three Simon Williams revealed, “Looks like beach weather to me, if we were allowed to leave the fucking house.

“It’s been absolutely pissing down recently, with the kids stuck in school and I have been working from home, so I’ve really been looking forward to a break, to get out and about with the family.

“Then one of the kids got sent home to isolate on Wednesday, and the other two today, before I got a ping on my stupid fucking Covid app, telling me I had to stay in for another 8 days.

“The timing is just fucking impeccable, just as the weather turns glorious, and right at the start of the holidays when we had loads of stuff planned with the kids.

“I knew I should have turned off my Bluetooth, or got rid of the pissing app.”

Asked if he could perhaps have some fun in the garden with the kids he told us, “I live in a terraced house mate, with a 4-foot bloody garden.”

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