Marxists to stop taking the knee for fear of being mistaken for England fans

author avatar by 2 years ago

A Marxist non-hierarchical spokesperson has called for Marxists throughout the nation to reject the tainted ideology of being a racist England fan.

Simon Ilyich-Williams from the Committee of United Marxists For A Communist England (CUMFACE) said, “We may share similar egalitarian aims with the team, but by taking the knee and showing solidarity with people of colour throughout the world, we are guilty by association.

“All we want is to seize control of the means of production and empower the proletariat by way of a bloody but necessary revolution. We’re not animals.”

Ilyich-Williams continued, “Since the European Championships, I’ve had dogshit put through my letterbox for ‘what I did to Marcus Rashford’ and it has to stop.”

England fan and committed racist Simon Boris Piers-Nigel-Williams said, “It’s disgusting that they’re even allowed to organise in this day and age.

“They look down on us for pursuing simple pleasures like terrifying women and children, snorting coke in the stands, and racially abusing players and decent fans alike but have you seen their agenda? They want to give people – people not like me, if you can believe it – the same rights as me, even if they’re black, female, or gender non-conforming.

“It’s a utopian nightmare. It’s as if George Orwell fought in Russia against the Communists and died for nothing.”

Asked if he knew what Marxism was, or had any understanding of history, or had even read a book on the subject, Piers-Nigel-Williams replied, “Well, I’ve not read ‘Animal Farm’ but I’ve seen the film and it was absolutely disgusting.

“It took me ages to achieve orgasm but at least it was only women and animals and not two men together. That’s disgusting. Just think about it…”, he added, before limping away, hiding his erection and shouting at a 3rd-generation Asian immigrant to “go back to where you came from, slag.”

His abusee, Simone Khan-Williams replied, “I would love to, but have you seen the state of house prices in Islington these days? It’s impossible to get on the property ladder in this dystopian neoliberal hellhole.

“If only we had a Marxist in charge, like that nice Mr Southgate.”