Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland having recognised the impressive footballing prowess of their nearest neighbour, and so have decided en masse to support England tonight.
Abandoning their years-long jealously of the England team, the three little countries now realise their place and will be waving their St. George’s Cross and singing ‘It’s Coming Home’ just like normal people.
“Och, they’re a braw wee team,” said Simon McWilliams, an authentic Scotch person.
“Much better than the Scotland team, as they showed with their comprehensive nothing-nothing draw a few weeks ago.
“So, I’ll be backing them all the way as an England victory will feel just the same as a Scotland victory. The noo.”
Simon O’Williams is a representative of the Northern Irish people.
“To be sure, the English team and, in fact, the English people, are a fantastic group of lads and I’ll definitely be cheering them on tonight.
“I’m sure the whole event will be a great craic and I, like many of my fellow countrymen, will be raising a number of glasses of Guinness to what I hope will be their great success.”
Simon Jones-Williams is a convincing Welsh person.
“Yakky dar! Come on the England team. Let’s be honest, our little team never stood a chance, but the England boyos certainly do.
“So dewch ymlaen, England.”
It is thought that this show of unity could be built upon, and ultimately lead to the other countries dismantling their national teams and having the whole of the union behind the great England team forevermore.