Tuesday 6 July 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Man wistfully recalls time when Government didn’t actively try to kill its citizens


Man looking wistfully out of window

A man has spent the morning gazing wistfully into the distance remembering a time when the Government didn’t seek to actively kill the population.

“It wasn’t even that long ago,” sighed Simon Williams.

“You could just go about your business safe in the knowledge that the Government wasn’t going to try and kill you.

“You know, you might disagree with their education policy, or think that taxes were a little high, but basically, you could be fairly certain that the people in charge of the country didn’t want to see you dead.”

Mr Williams nostalgia for happier times was sparked by the Government’s decision to remove any restrictions in place to prevent the spread of Covid during a third wave of the disease.

“I can remember a time, and kids today will say I’m mad, but I can remember a time when the Government wouldn’t look at a deadly disease sweeping the country with hundreds and thousands of vulnerable people at risk and just go ‘fuck them, my mates at Pret need to sell sandwiches’.

“Didn’t matter if it was Labour or Conservatives, by and large, they’d do their best to avoid killing much of the population.”

Mr Williams plans to continue his nostalgic reverie by wistfully remembering a time when the Government didn’t openly break international and domestic law, didn’t obviously and bare-facedly lie to the voting public, and had at least half an idea about what they were doing.

The Cabinet of Arseholes – get yours HERE!

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