Richard Branson has found enough money to dick about in space for a bit, despite asking for a tax-funded bailout last year.
The Virgin mogul with a face like the massive flying dog off of the Never-ending Story last week announced he had found enough coppers down the back of the sofa to build a fucking space shuttle.
“Oh, well done him,” said single mum, Hayley Rice, as she browsed a local food bank.
“I was really worried when he asked for us to bail him out last year. I assumed he had run out of money and I might bump into him in this food bank.
“So glad he’s picked himself up and he’s able to buy essentials like food, hygiene products and a fucking space suit.
“It’s a real underdog story.
“Would you be able to give me a lift home? I don’t have enough money for the bus.”