Thursday 1 July 2021 by Charles Oliver

Isis goes into mourning for their true founder, Don al-Drumsfeld


Donald Rumsfeld

The man who did more than anyone else to create the Islamic State terror group, Don al-Drumsfeld, has passed into paradise to claim his free virgins and infinite bowl of fruit, a spokesmullah for the group has regretfully announced.

al-Drumsfeld was the mastermind behind the toppling of Saddam Hussein and is regarded by many within the world’s most feared extremist organisation as being the founding father of their movement by leaving the power vaccuum which followed.

“If it were not for the great man’s prescient foresight in refusing to engage in nation-building after removal of the tyrant Saddam, we would never have had the room to grow and blight the lives of millions across the region,” said ISIS spokesman Shimon Wallahiams.

“He could have created a land of peace and plenty where the people wouldn’t have spent the last fifteen years getting raped and murdered, but praise be to the blessed prophet he chose instead to give us free rein to create the Caliphate.

“Truly, if the great Osama bin-Laden deserved eternal paradise at the hand of the prophet for killing thousands of Americans, Don al-Drumsfeld is surely receiving so very much better for the deaths of so very many more who were instrumental in his actions.

“Praise be to him, and his wisdom, mercy and peace.”

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