Thursday 1 July 2021

If you ignore the massive government bribe, Nissan staying in the UK is a great Brexit story, insists Brexiter


Brexiter happy with Nissan news

Nissan has announced plans to invest further in the northeast and to develop a battery production facility, in a move Brexiters are hailing as a huge boost for Brexit Britain if you just ignore the huge sums of taxpayer money the government gave them to stay.

Nissan was one of the major firms to speculate on its UK future after the Brexit vote in 2016, even heavily implying that a no-deal Brexit could see them leave the country altogether.

However, after the government secured a mediocre trade deal to avoid crashing out of the EU with no deal, and after throwing millions and millions in taxpayer money at Nissan to stay the country, the car manufacturer has agreed to stay.

Brexiter Simon Williams told us, “Ha! You Remainers said Nissan would leave, and they’re not leaving, are they? So that means you were idiots who were wrong and that makes me right, and so now I feel like a winner. It’s like the summer of 2016 all over again!

“No, I don’t think it’s important that the government had to throw millions of pounds of taxpayer money at them as a bribe to make them stay. How is that in any way relevant?

“This is just like that time on my mate’s stag do when I was chatting to that really attractive woman in that club and the lads all said she was a prostitute and would definitely be heading off somewhere better soon, well, they were wrong, weren’t they? She stayed the night with me. The whole night.

“I mean, yes, technically I had to pay her five hundred Euros to stay the night with me, but that doesn’t matter because I was right and they were wrong about her leaving.  And this is exactly like the Remainers who are crying into their soy lattes today.

“I win again. Suck it up snowflakes.”

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