Thursday 24 June 2021 by Mark Molloy

Travel firms desperate to learn to which countries they can drastically increase the cost of holidays


Travel agent holiday

Travel companies are desperately waiting for news today of the countries to which they can drastically increase the price for a holiday the very instant that they are placed on the green list for travel.

With the government due to deliver its latest travel advice later today, bosses at some of the UK’s largest travel companies are patiently waiting to triple the prices for thousands of destinations across Europe and the world, depending on where we are allowed to go.

A spokesman for one firm, who refused to name his employer, but confirmed that it had ‘Jet’ and a number in its name revealed, “Yeah, it’s all set up, we just need to hit the button, and the prices will double. Simple.

“Obviously people are desperate to go abroad, and we are more than happy to take advantage of that, by charging extortionate prices, for a shite one-bedroom apartment in Malta.

“And people will bleeding well pay it, because they’re desperate. It’s an absolute piece of piss.

“The prices are already sky-high as it is, so I don’t think people notice really, especially if we put that ‘only one apartment left’ pop up on everything like we always do, it’s easy.

“Now we just need to wait for an announcement later today, hit the button on the Internet, and watch the money roll in.”

Asked what will happen if no new holiday destinations are placed on the government green list we were told, “Oh, in that case, we are absolutely fucked.”

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