Weirdo fans of bafflingly popular ‘dating’ show Naked Attraction have reacted with concern today at news of the possible privatisation of Channel 4, causing real worry that their favourite oddball perv fest might actually come to an end.
With a government review of the ownership model and remit of the channel now taking place, thousands of dirty bastards genuinely concerned at losing some of their much-loved shows have immediately asked – ‘Will we still get Naked Attraction though?’
Married father of three Simon Williams, 41, who normally watches the show when his wife is in bed revealed “Woah, they better not be getting rid of that!
“I love nothing more than settling down to look at 5 or 6 men’s cocks paraded in front of a woman making awkward remarks about how pleasant they look.
“Or perving over a selection of women stood there completely naked as everyone stares at their vaginas, whilst trying to hold a genuine conversation about how insecure they are when looking for love.
“It’s a real rollercoaster every single time. Who will like who? Will they get on? Will they find love?
“Will they make us sit through the cocks before they get the women naked? Will they show close-ups? Is it weird to have a wank? And how do I time it right?
“It would just be such a shame, for all of us pervy weirdo’s if it was taken off our screens.”
Asked what they could watch instead we were told, “Probably some dogging thing on Channel 5 with a bit of luck.”