Man can’t wait to get back to going to gigs, filming them on his phone, watching them later

author avatar by 3 years ago

A man has revealed that he is really looking forward to the live scene starting up again so he can get back to going to gigs, filming them on his phone and then watching them again later when he gets home and goes to bed.

“I just really miss it, you know?” said Simon Williams, an irritating prick.

“That feeling of falling into bed, your arm aching from holding up your phone all evening, and watching a tiny, poorly filmed version of everything you missed that evening because you were focused on keeping your phone steady.”

He did admit that it wasn’t the perfect way to experience a gig.

“I don’t know, I mean you do pick up things other people in the audience say – ‘put your fucking phone down, you fucking twat’ and ‘what an obnoxious dickhead’ – but that just adds to the authenticity of the recording.

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“It’s like you were really there.”

He revealed that he will first in the queue for tickets when gigs return.

“Definitely. I’m going to go to loads of gigs, and I’m not going to mess around either. I’m going straight to the front of the crowd early on so I get a great film of everything. I might even get one of those selfie sticks so I can hold my phone up nice and high.”

It is understood that Simon’s local hospital has received updated guidelines on how to remove someone’s phone from their anal cavity.