Tuesday 15 June 2021

Lockdown sceptic confident best way to articulate position is by screaming it directly into face of terrified reporter


Angry Man screams anti-lockdown opinions into faces

Lockdown sceptics have decided the best way to get their message across is by accosting journalists and chasing them until they can scream their position into their faces whilst cornered.

As part of their ongoing fight to win the hearts and minds of the nation, numerous lockdown protesters accosted Nick Watt near Downing Street, seemingly under the belief he was directly responsible for Boris Johnson’s decision to delay ‘freedom day’.

Protester Derek Williams told us, “I’ve always found that if you chase someone down and then scream into their face they will very quickly agree with you.  So of course we’re going to be doing that here.

“What better way to get your message out to the masses than with violent invective and a spittle-infused tirade directly into the face of a BBC reporter?

“This is definitely the best way to win an argument. Honestly, I’m surprised these so-called debating societies at all the posh schools haven’t adopted the same tactic.  Tarquin might have a way with fancy words, but when Dave from the local comprehensive has him cornered you wait and see who he thinks has the best argument.”

Meanwhile, rational human beings, who don’t particularly enjoy being locked down just like everyone else, but who haven’t yet screamed their displeasure into the faces of strangers, have admitted that polemics screamed at them by the great unwashed has done nothing to convince them of the anti-ockdown/anti-vax position.

One such rational human being, Mike Jenkins, told us, “Well, I’ve always thought these people were just ill-informed, fed a diet of persuasive nonsense on the Internet and guilty of little more than being just a bit more gullible than average, but it’s nice to know so many of them adopted the delightful mob mentality to go with it.

“I’m sure this will all end incredibly well for everyone concerned.”

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