Friday 11 June 2021 by Mark Molloy

Premier League VAR to use Jumbo Crayola Crayons when assessing offside calls next season.


Crayons for VAR

The Premier League will use thicker lines drawn by really big Crayola crayons when using VAR to assess offside decisions next year, it has been revealed today.

The decision, which has been agreed by clubs for use next season, hopes to be able to give back the advantage to the attacking team by using really thick crayons and a human hand to attempt to draw the line between attacker and defender.

A Spokesman for the Premier League revealed, “We’ve cracked it. We’re using crayons. Different coloured ones too it’s brilliant.

“We have listened to the feedback from clubs regarding the lines previously used to determine whether a player is offside, and how this affects the game, and people’s enjoyment of it.

“That’s why from next season, whenever there is an offside call, we will be drawing the lines ourselves on the screen, using a really big Jumbo crayon to see if we think it’s offside.

“We can use different colours too, depending on who is playing, because we are going to buy a Jumbo 24 pack from Argos which should last us all season.

“If the big crayon lines touch, which they will, because of how thick they are scribbled, then it’s onside. Simple.

“It’s just going to be goals goals goals next year, and lots of fun drawing.”

Asked if there are any plans to address penalty decisions and handballs we were told, “No. That’s still going to be a shambles I’m afraid.”

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