Thursday 10 June 2021 by Lucas Wilde

Gavin Williamson lights cigarette after another night of passion with Union Flag

Gavin Williamson flag-shagging

Gavin Williamson has been giving it hard and fast to his Union Flag once again.

The flag-shagger extraordinaire and alleged Secretary of State for education just can’t get enough, and doesn’t understand why everyone else isn’t also shagging the flag at every conceivable opportunity.

“That was wonderful, darling,” panted the MP, lightly stroking the inanimate object while inhaling from a Marlborough Gold.

“How can people neglect you so, when you are so beautiful? Look at your colours, look at what you represent, this land, this commonwealth, this empire… oh my, I fear my erection is returning, brace yourself, my love…”

Williamson’s wife commented, “Yes. I know.

“He doesn’t make any effort to hide it, I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse…

“Look, it makes him happy, okay? Leave him alone. He’s just a very, VERY passionate patriot, that’s all.

“I only wish I didn’t have to wash all the crusted ‘patriotism’ out of the flag afterwards, but you try teaching that man how to use a washing machine.”

Previous post:

Next post: