Thursday 10 June 2021 by Pete Redfern

Boris Johnson excuses himself from climate conference and takes short flight back to London for lunch


Boris Johnson flies home for lunch

Boris Johnson has left the G7 climate conference at 11am on the first day to fly back to London for a spot of lunch.

The Prime Minister, who only flew to Cornwall yesterday from London, mumbled a few incoherent words to Joe Biden shortly after proceedings began today and then hailed a cab to the airport.

“I didn’t quite catch what he said,” Mr Biden told reporters over lunch, “Partly because I’m a hundred and seventy-eight, but mainly because he was mumbling mostly in Latin.

“But it sounded like he said he wanted to go and get some lunch from the members and ‘have a quick shag with some hot new totty’, whatever that means.”

Downing Street spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “I’m sure the G7 conference can continue fine without the presence of the leader of the host nation.

“That’s the whole point of having a group of countries involved – you only need some of them to be present for it to be effective.”

Laughing out loud, he went on, “Besides, we’re hosting, what more do they want?

“Boris Johnson to take some sort of decisive leadership on the global stage? They’ve more chance of him resolving the Irish border issue!”

He added, “Look, we’re being very generous hosts to these countries, most of whom struggle to hide their contempt for us.

“We’re even putting on a fine dinner each evening of roasted polar bear and white rhino ribs.”

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