Wednesday 9 June 2021

Snowflakes furious over removal of portrait they didn’t know existed from room they don’t have access to

snowflakes furious

Snowflakes across the Internet are today frothing from their usual orifices over the removal of a photo they’ve never seen from a room they’ll never have access to.

The entirely predictable list of people like Piers Morgan, Gavin Williamson, Darren Grimes, Julia Hartley-Brewer, Laurence Fox and others have been foaming at the mouth to insist people are trying to ‘cancel’ the queen, simply because they want to take down a photo they only put up in 2013 and replace it with something they like more.

A spokesperson for the student group concerned told us, “I mean, we voted to put the picture up in our common room in 2013, and we paid for it ourselves, but it’s not like they were furious about our lack of a portrait of the Queen in the years up to 2012, is it?

“It’s almost like this pompous snowflakery is nothing more than a deliberate fiction to rile up the nations simpletons who happen constitute the majority of their audience.

“What with the whole footballers kneeling thing, and now this, it really is a wonderful time if you happen to make your living as a perpetually offended contrarian snowflake.”

Another student told us, “I used to have a picture of Jon Bon Jovi on my wall as a teenager, he wasn’t cancelled when I removed it, I just decided I preferred other things.

“I’m guessing all of these terribly unhappy commentators have a portrait of her majesty the queen hanging in pride of place in their living rooms? No, thought not.”

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