Thursday 3 June 2021 by Davywavy

Two grand Peloton bike bought during lockdown now the world’s most expensive coat rack


Peloton bike used as a coat rack

Two grand’s worth of Peloton bike which was bought in a misguided belief it would help during lockdown is now sat in the corner of the room being the world’s most expensive coat rack, according to reports today.

The bike, which is the most visible indicator of membership of some weird online fitness cult, was purchased by Simon Williams in the vague hope a toned Californian shouting at him through a table screen would make him fitter.

“It looked great on the adverts,” he told us. “There’s was some photogenic woman getting all sweaty and that image short-circuited the rational part of my brain.

“The next thing I knew a wildly expensive exercise bike was in my house and a Lycra Nazi was giving me literal marching orders over the telly.

“It was a relief when distancing restrictions were lifted so I could go and pretend to be exercising in the park rather than in front of a psychopath from San Francisco who uses words like ‘burn’ and ‘micronutrients’.”

When asked, a spokesman for Peloton said that their next generation of bikes would come with hooks pre-attached to save you just slinging your coat and jumper over it.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: