The World Health Organisation (WHO?) has announced a new naming system for current and future Covid variants.
From now on, WHO will use the Spice Girls nicknames to refer to the variants.
The Kent variant, for instance, is labelled Scary Spice Covid, the South African variant becomes Posh Spice Covid and the Indian variant Baby Spice Covid.
If there is a particularly bad variant, the name ‘Zig-a-zig-Ah! Variant’ has been reserved.
“It was important to take some of the stigma away from the naming of these variants,” explained scientist Simon Williams.
“For example, Scary Spice Covid was originally named the ‘Kent variant’ and that saw some reprisals with the people of Kent starting to be blamed for the emergence of that variant which is absurd because Kent is 2-3 years away from having the technology to deliberately mutate the virus.
“By naming the variants after Spice Girls, this takes away that stigma and makes Covid names a bit less scary and a bit more fun. These are difficult times and any discussions of Covid variants are going to be made a little more pleasant if you’re holding that cheeky image of the Spice Girls pinching Prince Charles’ bum in your head.”
Any concerns that the Spice Girls may be stigmatised by this new naming convention were dismissed by Doctor Williams.
“No, I don’t think anyone would ever hold a Spice Girl responsible for the emergence of a new variant,” he said.
“Certainly we’re 70-80% positive that Baby Spice had nothing to do with the Baby Spice variant.
“Although, investigations into the Posh Spice variant are still ongoing.”