A used car dealer has massively missed the mark when it comes to Pride Month.
Simon Williams, 54, doesn’t really know a lot about LGBT+ issues, or even what the “T” stands for, but nonetheless has ploughed forward with a marketing promotion that could be described as “crass” at best.
“Much like Madonna, our discounts are FIERCE,” confirmed Williams, awkwardly reading from a piece of paper.
“In the month of June, prove you’re not straight and we’ll give you 30% off any car with an RRP of 19,999 or more.
“Proof may include holding hands with someone of the same gender, having coloured hair or owning a Ricky Martin album.
“So if you’re queer or gay, don’t you dare delay! Drive away your dream car TODAY!” concluded Williams, running up a rainbow flag that he had previously used to show support for the NHS.
The LGBT+ community’s reaction has been mixed.
“Fucking hell,” confirmed Hayley Rice, a 32-year-old bisexual.
“I know that all companies and corporations take a cynical approach to pride month but this is so transparent, to the point I almost admire the man’s balls – figuratively, of course.
“I only found out about this because one of my straight friends wanted a new car. So I walked in with her holding her hand while loudly discussing the work of Sylvia Plath, and she drove away a Fiat 500 with a 30% discount and a complimentary set of floor mats.
“By the way, you could ask either of us, one straight and one bi, and both of us would give you the same answer: Ricky Martin fucking SLAPS.”